Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Stop Kidding Yourself

"I'm a business consultant."

"I'm a financial advisor."

"I'm a petroleum distribution technician."

"I am a facilitator between people's goals and their dreams."

Stop kidding yourself. 

You're a salesman. The most hated profession in the world. You're in the same ranks as defense lawyers and MLM neighbors. When you introduce yourself to people, you pray they don't ask you what you do for a living because you know they won't let their kids hang out with your kids. When you get the guts to blurt out, "I'm a salesman", people look at you as if they just saw George Bush pick his nose and eat it during the State of the Union Address. 

People tell you you're crazy. They think you've failed at everything else in the world, hence, you've decreased yourself to pondscum. You're a shadester, a hustler, you should legally change your name to "Sid Diamond" and put your ring on your pinky finger.


You are my favorite person in the world. I would rather be around salespeople than ANYONE else in corporate America. 

Human Resources people? 

...are we playing Dungeons and Dragons?


...Michael Scott?


...no thanks Johnny Hotnuts.


....(cringe) only to file a tax return extension.

There is something crazy about you that makes me like you. Maybe it's the fact that you're still taking Ritalin at 34. Maybe it's the fact that you still act like you're 12. Maybe it's because I can say words like "Fart" and itch my hemrhoids without losing respect. 

This blog offers refuge for all of us salespeople trying to live the double-life. As Dwight Schrute said, "Salespeople, unite."

No comments: